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Stop Blaming Complaining and Making Excuses

Morning Reflections: Stop Blaming, Complaining and Making Excuses

Almost every golfer does this. I’ll bet even the pros do it. And they probably have more reason to do so than the average duffer.

Have you ever seen someone flub a shot and then examine their club as though looking for some defect… some reason the shot went awry?  I’ll bet if you golf you’ve done it yourself… I know I have. Why is that?

It’s because we have a natural tendency to look for something outside ourselves to blame for our failures. We look for excuses. We don’t take 100% responsibility for ourselves, for our circumstances, our performance, current financial situation, the quality of our relationships and on and on.

Not a serious problem if all you are talking about is a poor golf shot. But IF looking for excuses, blaming external factors or other people becomes a habit, and for many that’s the case, there is no way you can ever get better at anything.

And that includes living the life you dream about…. assuming you have goals and dreams you haven’t yet achieved. But that’s another story.

When you stop looking for reasons outside yourself for lack of success in any area, and focus on the real problem… which is YOU… and the choices you make, you will be on the road to success.

Jack Canfield in “The Success Principles” tells the story of a man out walking late at night and seeing a man on hs knees under a street light searching for something he lost, his watch I think. After helping the man for sometime, he asked whether or not he was sure this was where he lost it. The man said “Oh no, I lost it in the house but there’s better light out here under the street lamp”.

You have to stop looking in all the wrong places for the reason you are not where you want to be. Look to yourself and your responses to what happens to you, what occurs in your life. And you will find the answer. You have to give up excuses, blaming and complaining.

Not that complaining or confronting issues you don’t like is wrong. What’s wrong about complaining is that many people complain to the wrong people. For instance, instead of confronting a co-worker who is uncooperative or disruptive at work, many people take it home and complain to their spouse.

That’s a choice for victim hood. Make a better choice… talk to the colleague. Express your concerns. Choose to deal with the situation at it’s source with a goal to resolve the problem. That’s a choice for the better. You’ll be amazed at how much better the situation will be. Something will change. Being a victim will not help.

There’s no way you can control all the events that have an impact on your life. But this is not about CONTROL. It’s all about how you respond to things that change, things that will have an effect upon you. That’s all you can control….

And that’s what you have to take 100% responsibility for. When those things are life changing, the choices can be difficult, scary, gut wrenching. You may be really fearful of the consequences of what you do in response. But YOUR response and only your response, will determine your future.

You can be positive, look for ways the change can be of benefit or ways in which you can adjust so the potentially undesirable consequences to you are minimized or even beneficial. Your choice… be a victim or a survivor.

You can’t control the stock market so when it tanks you can either accept your losses, blame the market and be miserable… or you can get up and do it all over again after LEARNING what you could do better in future.

Losing your job when the company takes a new direction may not be something you can control. But your reaction to that is entirely your responsibility.  I speak from experience. I didn’t actually lose my job when a new CEO arrived on the scene at my company, with his own vision of what he wanted as an executive management group. But I did have to make a career choice and go in a different direction. That choice turned out not to have been a good one, due again to circumstances I could not control. But it was my choice.

Accepting the fact that you can’t control events but that you can control your responses, and then accepting full responsibility for those choices is the only way you will ever be able to pick yourself up and get at it again.

It doesn’t matter how many times you fail as long as you get up one time more than you get knocked down. Only you can control that. If you have a DREAM, and the pain of not getting up is greater than the pain of staying where you are, you will be able to take 100% responsibility for your responses.

And you will be the better for it. It’s the only way to get where you want to go or to keep from sliding back if you are already at your destination. Then of course you reach for a new destination, a new goal or dream. Always growing.

Terrence Neraasen

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About the Author Terry Neraasen

Internet and network marketer from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I come from a background in science with wetland and waterfowl ecology and management as both passions and vocation. I continue to be very passionate about wildlife conservation and protecting the environments upon which we all depend. I've taken advantage of innovative network marketing skill development an business building that avoids the usual, generally unproductive traditional mlm approach. Growing wealth for me and my team free of rejection and frustration is where I focus my efforts. It's all based on The Success System That Never Fails. Blogging, video creation and marketing and SEO are favoured tools. I'm a graduate and Certified Guide for The Master Key Experience which is the ultimate in personal development. Get in touch if you've a mind to. I'm always open to new things and new friends.

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